


In the Dark

by queenchingshih



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Canonical Character Death, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Linear Narrative, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Harm, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5583322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenchingshih/pseuds/queenchingshih
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I didn't meant to kill her, I swear!' Nathan said in a burst, flashing back to the night before. Rachel, party, drugged, dark room, too many drugs, accident, accident, accident. </p><p>Jefferson pressed another button and a gallery of photographs popped up on screen. He clicked on them in turn. Rachel high as a kite, smiling at the camera first, and then... A whole collection of pictures featuring the deterioration of Rachel's life. If only he had known.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This fic includes potentially triggering content (as outlined in the tags), often in explicit detail, so please put your own safety first and don't read if any of the tags above include something that you think may harm you. 
> 
> This fic has been very cathartic for me to write, and also very difficult. Nathan didn't really capture my attention until after I'd finished the game. And so, after crying my heart out over Chloe, I started thinking about his character and found a need to explore him and what turned him into the person he is in the game.
> 
> The numbers indicate the order each part occurs in the timeline.

3

Nathan Prescott was no stranger to the dark room and not just as a photographer but a model too. But not like this, never like this.

He could barely think as it was, sprawled against a patch of grass with Rachel Amber's lifeless body lent against him. He could only stare into the lens of Jefferson's camera as he loomed over their prone forms, snapping shot after shot- muttering to himself (of what Nathan did not know) all the time. Then the camera and Jefferson were gone leaving Nathan with an unobstructed view of the sky above, the stars so clear out there in the still night. But all too soon the stillness was fractured as he heard the slap of metal and the thud of dug up earth as Jefferson began to dig nearby. 

Nathan found himself wondering if it were to be a grave for two. Rachel was just a mass of cold flesh beside him now. When Jefferson lowered him into his grave, would he notice how Nathan's skin had chilled? Would he find beauty in that, in him- pale and lifeless, as he had with Rachel?

It could have been minutes or hours before Jefferson crept back into Nathan's line of sight. Nathan watched him fiddle with plastic- a body bag- eyes intent on Rachel. He never looked at him for a second. Nathan heard more than saw Jefferson struggle to get Rachel's body into the bag, finding that he no longer could move his head. Rachel's weight was gone from his side and the plastic made a horrible sound against the ground as Jefferson dragged her away and it wasn't long until he could hear the dull thud of the spade as Jefferson patted down the earth of the grave. Nathan closed his eyes and when he opened them, some time later, Jefferson was lent over him, frowning.

'What am I going to do with you?' He said, almost to himself, as he reached out to cup Nathan's cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Nathan just had enough strength left to lean into the touch.

 

1

Nathan once overheard Rachel telling Jefferson that she loved him and what's worse is that he said it back, without a hitch, without hesitation. The words running smoothly off his tongue. Rachel calls him Mark, the name sounded almost foreign to Nathan's ears. He listened to them kiss from outside the living room door, the key to Jefferson's apartment digging into his palm as he clenched his fists. Nathan hated the ugly thing that twisted inside of him as he listened to the exchange. He must have made some noise because their kissing broke off abruptly and the door was wrenched open and Nathan's frozen, face to face with his mentor.

Rachel started shouting the moment she saw him- _oh god what the fuck Mark what if he tells we are so busted_ \- Jefferson goes to her immediately, with soothing words and touches- _calm down it's okay just Nathan I'm mentoring him he won't tell_ -'

'Will you Nathan?'

'No, of course not... sir.' Nathan managed to spit out, shaking his head.

Jefferson rose from beside Rachel then and gestured for her to stay put before he closed the door behind him and fixed Nathan with a stern look. 

'Go back to your dorm Nathan, I'll call for you later and we'll discuss this... invasion of privacy.' Jefferson told him. Nathan bowed his head and turned to leave, biting his tongue against an outburst. It would only get him into more trouble. 

'Nathan.' Jefferson called after him. Nathan stilled and looked back over his shoulder. 'My keys.' Nathan dropped the key into his outstretched hand without a word. 

The indent of key throbbed all the way to his car.

 

 4

Nathan didn't wake until noon and when he stirred he found himself not in his dorm or his bed at home but on the white couch in the dark room. He regained consciousness slowly, his body heavy, vision refusing to come into focus. He released a breath and let the sound of the _tap tap tap_ of a computer mouse bring him back to himself. Nathan gathered the strength to sit up and only then noticed he had been stripped down to his underwear.

'I had to burn your clothes. Precautions, you know.' Jefferson's voiced carried over from the computer where he sat.

Nathan stared down at himself, hating the expanse of pale skin, the way he can see his own ribs poking through the skin. He wonders if Jefferson did anything to him when he was passed out. It wouldn't have been the first time, but he didn't feel sore in the usual places and there were no new marks on his skin to suggest anything of the sort. Nathan understands that he had consented to give himself to Jefferson, that the man was entitled to have him whenever he liked, it was part of their agreement. But he always felt strange afterwards when he'd wake throbbing with new bruises with no memory to accompany them.

'Nathan, come over here a minute.' So Nathan did, crossing the cold floor on bare feet to stand beside Jefferson who pats his knee for Nathan to sit down on. Jefferson curled a hand around Nathan's hip and tapped a button on the keyboard to bring up a slideshow.

A series of photographs of Rachel and him that he didn't remember being taken. Rachel is dead in every one of them.

He waited until the slideshow was finished before turning away from the screen.

'I didn't meant to kill her, I swear!' Nathan said in a burst, flashing back to the night before. Rachel, party, drugged, dark room, too many drugs, _accident, accident, accident._

Jefferson pressed another button and a gallery of photographs popped up on screen. He clicked on them in turn. Rachel high as a kite, smiling at the camera first, then... A whole collection of pictures featuring the deterioration of Rachel's life. If only he had known.

'They're well shot. Well, most of them anyway. A few out of focus or with bad lighting but overall? Good work Nathan. I'm proud of you.' Jefferson stroked up and down Nathan's side as he praised him and with him talking Nathan forgot about everything- Rachel, his dad, school, Victoria's worry- it all faded away. 'It's okay. I understand why you did it. Daddy made you jealous, didn't he baby?'

'No- I- it was an accident!' Nathan protested at once as he attempted to squirm out of Jefferson's grip.

'Shush now. I'm not angry. She didn't share what you and I have. She was a good model though, you're going to have to step in until I find a another. Can you do that for me baby boy?' He cooed into Nathan's ear and Nathan managed a weak nod, still not finding it within himself to relax. If he were to take Rachel's place that would mean more drugs and more blank spots in his memory. 

 Jefferson cupped him through his boxers, giving him a tight squeeze that left Nathan gasping and digging his nails into Jefferson's shoulder who hissed and shook Nathan off, forcing him to his feet. He unbuttoned his shirt and peered at the skin beneath.

'You left a mark. What have I told you about leaving marks?' Jefferson said, his voice low and cold. Nathan shivered. 

'So-rry. I l-lost control- is all.' Nathan stuttered out, rooted to the spot as Jefferson rose from his chair.

'Control? Oh Nate, I thought I had taught you all about control. Do you need reeducating?'

'N-no!' Nathan stammered, almost falling over his own feet as he stumbled backwards.

'Don't you dare back away from me!' Jefferson roared, his well preserved _cool_ shattering. Nathan whimpered and opened his mouth to apologize only to find his breath caught in his chest as Jefferson's hands went around his neck. Nathan stared up at him, pleading with his eyes to let him go but it was almost as if Jefferson didn't see him, there was nothing focused in his eyes as he choked Nathan, who couldn't even claw at Jefferson's arms or kick him in the balls or anything but stand there frozen, helpless as a fucking baby. Jefferson was breathing heavily now, his grip unrelenting. Nathan was starting to see spots when finally Jefferson's grip loosened and Nathan gasped, drinking massive gulps of air. Jefferson's hands fell away from his neck and Nathan started to feel dizzy, the spots merging together, blocking out everything in a dark mass.

He must have fallen because the next thing he was aware of was Jefferson's arms holding his body up against his own, Nathan's chin resting in the groove of where neck met shoulder as Jefferson stroked a hand through his hair.

'I'm sorry Nate, so sorry. Here's me talking about control when I can't even control my own temper. Do you forgive me baby? Say you forgive me.' Jefferson rambled, his breath brushing against Nathan's forehead. Nathan angled his head up so he could look at Jefferson and thought he saw real remorse shining behind Jefferson's glasses. 

'I-' Nathan coughed and cleared his throat, ignoring the sharp twinge as he did so. 'It's okay.' He whispered, not being able to do much more than that. 'It's okay... Daddy.' He threw in, knowing it would please Jefferson.  _It's not okay it's not it's not._ His brain screamed at him. Nathan was used to it and well adept at silencing the stray thoughts. Especially when Jefferson lent in close to Nathan, resting their foreheads together like everything they had was something intimate. 

Nathan whined as Jefferson slid his slips against Nathan's own in a soft, rare kiss. The kiss soon deepened however, twisting into something more before Nathan had a chance to savor the simplicity of it. Jefferson's hand trailed from Nathan's hair down his spine, to slip beneath Nathan's boxers, nails digging into the flesh of his ass, as punishment or as a reward Nathan didn't know or care. Nathan groaned into Jefferson's mouth, letting himself get swept up in the sensation. He felt owned like that, safe in a way that Nathan never wanted to examine too closely. Their kiss grew frantic with Nathan backed up against the couch, one of Jefferson's thighs slotted beneath his legs. Nathan ground up against the friction, only then realizing how hard he was, straining against the fabric of his boxers. 

'Want to see, wanna see.' Jefferson said in gasped breaths between kisses. Nathan grunted in consent and lent back so he could peel his boxers off. Jefferson stopped him with a hand around his wrist.

'Go kneel in front of the backdrop. I'll grab my camera.'

Jefferson left Nathan panting against the back of the couch to root around for his camera. Nathan let Jefferson's words catch and process in his brain, digesting their meaning and felt a lump form in his throat. He found himself walking round the couch and padding across the white fabric on the floor to kneel in the middle of the space anyway, even though everything in him was screaming that he didn't want to do this. It didn't matter what he wanted though, especially not after what he'd done. 

Miserably, Nathan found that as he sat and waited obediently for Jefferson to join him that he was still hard. Jefferson returned camera at the ready, staring don at Nathan hungrily, excitement flickering in his eyes. 

'Leave the boxers on, but pulled down, so they hang low on your hips.' He instructed and Nathan pulled them down, never letting his gaze break from Jefferson's for a moment. 

'Yeah, perfect, that's right.' The praise hit Nathan like a jolt and he bathed in it, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. Black's your color Nate, or it would be if it actually were one.' Jefferson was saying but the words were fading into the background as Nathan focused only on the pleasure from being good enough for Mark Jefferson to praise. 

Jefferson snapped the first picture and Nathan remained still as his mentor tried different angles, feeling himself relax more and more with each photo. Which was when Jefferson fixed him with a look Nathan knew all too well. 

'Now, jerk yourself off for me Nate.' He said clearly. Nathan stared up at him for a long moment before steeling his resolve enough to slide a hand down his boxers and pull his cock out. He felt almost detached from the moment, stroking himself mechanically staring into the dark lens of the camera. Just when he was starting to think he could make it through, his gaze flickered away from the lens to Jefferson's face, half obscured by the camera and he felt a flutter in his chest that was anything but pleasurable. He felt the telltale shakes starting up in his right arm, making his strokes clumsy and uncoordinated. 

Nathan took a deep breath and let his eyes fall closed to imagine himself out of the dark room, into bed with Jefferson stroking him and muttering a stream of praise into his ear. 

'Eyes open Nathan, you're ruining the aesthetic.' Jefferson snapped. Nathan reluctantly obeyed, the fantasy unraveling as he was met with the attention of the real Jefferson, distant and only concerned with the perfect picture. Nathan frantically attempted to grasp onto other fantasies, other people to imagine here with him to look at him with eyes filled with far more warmth and desire. He thinks briefly of Victoria, her pretty mouth and elegant fingers but with her brings guilt and the lies he'd told her bubbling to the surface. He quickly switches his thoughts to Hayden but their thing together had been so long ago he couldn't remember the details and it fell apart before he could really get going. 

Then Rachel popped into his head unbidden. Beautiful, flawless Rachel with her long hair and gorgeous eyes- eyes that stared at him dully, murky waters instead of clear, skin graying and maggots crawling between her parted lips, down her chin. Nathan watched as she decomposed in front of his eyes into a pile of rotten flesh and bone, insects crawling over her remains, towards him. Nathan shouted in alarm and threw himself bodily backwards, tearing a hole in the backdrop as he did so.

'What the fuck Nathan- what the fuck- you ruined my backdrop what is wrong with you?' Jefferson was shouting when Nathan came back to himself, the hallucination fading away into the darkest recess of his mind no doubt waiting to haunt his dreams. 

Nathan cried, shrouded in Jefferson's shadow as he loomed over him, huge wracking sobs escaping him- he couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe but it was all his own doing this time. Nathan was barely aware of Jefferson moving until the man had gathered him into his arms. Nathan struggled briefly but relaxed some when Jefferson started murmuring soothing words in his ear. 

'Maybe this is all too much for you to handle.' Jefferson said into Nathan's hair. Disappointed, just like his father. 

 

5

Victoria was waiting for him when he finally made it to his dorm. She was leaning against his door with her arms crossed and when she saw him she shot him a look that could curdle milk. 

'Not now Vic.' He muttered as he reached the door, fumbling with his keys. 

'Read your messages much asshole?' She snapped but moved aside to let him unlock the door. 'I got a medifriend alert telling me you didn't take your meds this morning.' She added in a softer tone and Nathan couldn't stand it. 

'I forgot.' He said, turning the lock and pushed the door open. He should have known she wouldn't let it go that easily. 

'What the hell douche? No explanation, no, gee thanks for tearing your stylish hair out in worry for me Vic?'

'Sorry.' He offered, pinching the bridge of his nose against a headache. Victoria's glare faded as her eyes fell on the dark bruises Nathan knew he had around his neck. He watched the way she pursed her lips and how her eyes grew wide with concern, elegant eyebrows pinching down. Nathan expected a demanded explanation, some kind of outburst, something that would give him an excuse to slam the door in her face without feeling like a piece of shit for doing so. 

'Where were you all day anyway?' She asked instead, uncrossing her arms. Her face was open, the care evident and for a split second he imagined opening up to her completely. The thought terrified him beyond measure. 

'None of your fucking business!' Nathan exploded as he ended up slamming the door in her face after all. 

'Geez, sorry I asked!' He heard her screech from the other side of the door.

'Just fuck off okay?' Nathan said through the door. He waited and then heard her exhale a long breath before listening to the click clack of her heels as she walked away. Nathan pressed his forehead against the door frame, lent back and slammed his head against the wood, again, again. 'Fuck this shit.' He muttered as he pressed a hand against his forehead and flopped down onto his bed.

 

2

Contrary to popular belief Nathan didn't want to screw Rachel Amber, he only wanted to take her picture. He knew she was a wonderful model, the best for miles around probably. She never remembered her sessions with Jefferson in their dark room but Nathan had seen the photos countless times. Studied them. Nathan privately thought that it was her presence that made the pictures Jefferson took worthwhile. Better than all his over crap combined. 

Rachel was beautiful. And besides, she was fun to be around. Smart and quick and really funny when they got high together. Everyone loved Rachel and Nathan found himself to be no exception. 

Vortex parties were Nathan's escape and they were Rachel's too, he was beginning to suspect. They were the two always guaranteed to be present and the two always flying the highest. 

'Lets take a picture together!' Nathan shouted in Rachel's ear to be heard over the music. His breath made her blue feather earring flutter and he got stuck on the image for a moment, captivated. 

'A selfie!' She exclaimed delighted and grabbed Nathan's phone from him, angling it above them. Nathan put a hand around her waist as she flung one around his shoulder, almost dropping the phone in the process. They were both laughing up until the point Rachel shouted 'Cheese!' and the flash went off.  

Then Rachel was off, twirling away into the mass of people disappearing between the cracks of bodies pressed together swaying to the beat. Nathan was left of nothing but the scent of her perfume and his phone, open on the picture of them.

He peered at the picture and found himself dissatisfied. It was blurry and in it, Rachel wasn't beautiful, wasn't the perfect model, she was just a girl with her arm flung around a boy with too many bags under his eyes, the pair of them grinning toothily at the camera with a shared unfocused stare.


End file.
